The title sounds like something really serious and philosophical, to say the least, to the extremely cockamamie that a very actively meandering imagination might conceive. Yes? Well, for a person with not much of knowledge and quite a limited vocabulary, that was one hell of an opening sentence, was it not? Well, expecting too much only gives you disappointments later on, but then again, if I cannot at least engage the reader enough from the opening sentence to make him expect something from a piece of writing, then why am I, in God’s name, sitting here in my pajamas at the middle of the night severely tired and tested from the past sleepless nights of football watching and partying?
Well i guessed right, you weren’t going to answer that question, yes? Well, you can’t expect the extremely bright, creative and infinitely more talented sane reader to answer any question that a writer, in his bedraggled and possibly drunk state of mind to be posing him, I guess. Well then, I would answer that myself. I am shaken, shaken not as in shaken due to fear, or as in shaken due to the intoxication that is the alcohol burning its way through my digestive walls, presumably the stomach and intestinal ones, fairly affecting the liver and positively the kidneys too, and of course, not in a good way. But I am shaken none the less, due to the cruel punishment that each and every mind of ours inflicts, not on others, not on our enemies or friends, but on ourselves.
To be getting to the point, I stress it again, this piece of writing is nothing psychological, or psychiatric, bless those who can tell the two apart, but moreover on the multiple facades that our mind puts up. Many of you, most of you, nah! All of you reading this will be wiser and much more aware than me pertaining the subject in question. Every single one of us would have, in one moment or the other, felt that urge to consider the other voice of the mind. The one that usually confuses us by suggesting stuff to our brain that run exactly in the opposite lines of what we might be thinking of acting at the moment. Every one of us would have had that urge to doubt ourselves, stop and think for a moment more. Yes, if you still didn’t get it, it IS the matter of indecision, and you ought to be having exactly that in the subject of whether I’m the one drunk, or you.
Indecision, that word itself has a horrific aura to it, doesn’t it? It’s exactly what it sounds like, In Decision. Yeah you don’t have to think about that two words and the relation with the actual word or what I’m suggesting here much, there’s no use at all. You’re stuck in it. The more you think, the more you get tangled. You’re stuck inside the Decision making process, whether you like it or not. And when you finally give up and decide to pick something after minutes and hours, or even maybe days or months or years of thinking over and consensus making and hypothesizing, you still end up picking the wrong one. Perhaps. See? there’s an uncertainty to even that too. Even if you think about it a second, or a year, the chance of picking the right choice is still 50%. Which is pretty bad, coming to think of it, if it was regarding a 10 year wait and confusion on a silly decision, right? Well you ain’t gonna answer that either, are you?, no worries, that is exactly why I’m here, It IS not just pretty bad, it’s mighty well down-to-the-shit-hole-bad.
The evil that is indecision, was not something I think God thought about, when he thought of making thoughts. Because, if he did think about it, maybe he would have gotten stuck in loop of the evil indecision that is the ultimate Satan of all sentient beings, and well, rocks and atoms and molecules and the bozons and gamma rays and whatever else. And then maybe he couldn’t have made us. So in a way Indecision is the Ultimate Curse of the world as we know it. Parents lose their children because of it, because they thought a little bit too much about calling their son’s back when they left their homes for silly reasons, husbands lose their wives because of doubting whether or not to give in to the other and admit that they missed them, businessman lose their money and come to think of it, it can cause damage to everything and anything you can think of. From the lowliest to the unbelievably significant, everyone’s everything’s life at every moment is affected by it. Nothing was made or done or found or learned or discovered or (any other verb in past tense) by the slightest grain of indecision in it.
There is only one way to fight that monster, and that’s trusting your instincts. And for those absolutely illiterate readers who, I have absolutely no idea how they’re reading this, do not know what instinct is other than relating to a fairly well known title of a ’92 crime thriller which had some quite memorable and/ ravishing scenes in it, it means this as of oxford dictionary
Instinct (noun) – a natural or intuitive way of acting or thinking :
which in turn brings in the equally tough, complex and confusing and not so well-known due to the apparent lack of movies in its name, word :
Intuition : the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning:
Exactly what the definition says, WITHOUT THE NEED FOR CONSCIOUS REASONING. Pardon me, the capitalized words do not mean any offense or rudeness, but are apparently for emphasizing. Reasoning within our own mind is like calling in all the different religious terrorists together and asking them which religion to wipe out first. You’ll have a hell of a noise, some brawling, quite a lot of ear pulling, biting and what-not ( I’m imagining here. World Powers, do not assume or even grow the slightest of suspicion that I’m gathering a band of all religious terrorists and having a round table conference with them to wipe any religious followers, I am and have always been a peace lover, unless food is involved, or football come to think of it). But you get my point nevertheless I assume, and if you did not, not to worry there pal, I’ll tell you; just so that I can shift the focus from terrorist suspicion which probably arose on me, and i repeat here I AM NOT ONE OF THEM !! ; do not ask advice to anybody, not even your own head if it involves any time more than a second of decision making.
And that is All. Don’t think, Just act. Think and it’s gone. You’re in the tangle. All that you think just adds up on the big loop that you’ve tied around your head, legs, arms and what not. You feel like doing something, Do iT! You feel like telling a person something, however stupid that maybe, Say iT! And that gets us back to the original question, Why this midnight ravings? and yet another time, I answer it for you, to lament the possible chance of loss of a certain special person in my modest little life due a stupid grain of indecision ! The ultimately wrong road that I chose that seemingly is a One-Way road, Let that not be yours, This is a Sign Post just before the intersection warning you not to take it. ‘Cause once you do, it’s pretty much impossible to turn back, unless miracles happen, and I’ll tell you, they wouldn’t be called miracles if they happened in thrice-a-day frequency. So last few words before the ultimately potent drug of the world drags me down to the recesses of snoring/dreaming,
Dun think ’bout it !!